When I help

When I help my adult children, am I really helping?  Or am I crippling them? Is my help a sop to my vanity?  Or is it a sincere effort to lift them up?  Are my ideas of how to live life even relevant to their lives?  Sometime I think it is time for me to go off to the forest and live a hermit's life and let my kids fend for themselves.  After all, they are in their 30's, they should have a clue by now.